For you…

I never really took the time to understand my feelings and get the jist of everything. It has been some months so I have been asking myself, “Why am I still curious?” and “Why does my heart sink to the floor?”

Three months to be exact.

It is awful on my part that I only really knew how much I liked you when it was all over. Whereas, for you, it was merely convenience. To tell me you think it’s best because you need your independence…and now, this.

I suppose, I suppose you are a lover that went wrong. I cannot resent you. I cannot hate you. I cannot regret having you a part of my life. You pulled me slowly out of my shell. Shook me a little. But, you were mean. Selfish. Somewhat, in the end, conniving. I just sit and wonder whether you ever felt the same way.. That is the most cruel thing you can do to yourself. I didn’t want to fight for you because, you clearly wouldn’t fight for me. I wish I could get rid of this sick feeling in my stomach. Go away. Please.

We did not even talk. We did not even talk about it. That is mostly my fault.

As they say, “nothing just happens out of the blue”… That is it. It was all there.

Destroy the middle, it’s a waste of time.
From the perfect start to the finish line.

And if you’re still breathing, you’re the lucky ones.
‘Cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs.
Setting fire to our insides for fun
Collecting names of the lovers that went wrong
The lovers that went wrong

Well then..

Love & Light,

x

PS: Happy Christmas!